Turning point- or why I am an artist now

art, artists block, Canadian, Canvas, carpe diem, choices, fear, Lydia Knox, magic, Oil, painting

FullSizeRender 29

Canadian Moment. 22×30 inches, art for sale. Buy it here: https://www.artfinder.com/manage/lydia-knox/product/canadian-moment/

 

 

Once upon a time I was a writer for the internet. I have a BA in English and I loved writing. So I was very pleased that I spent 10 years out of my life as a copywriter for the web. However, the economic crash of 2008 came along, and left me jobless. Being a person who really needs to work all the time, I had to do some major soul searching.

My heart was broken, because I lost my way, my career, my focus,  and I would walk for miles with my dog, Sirius. It didn’t matter if it was hot or cold, rainy or snowing I’d be out there, in the park by the Humber River in Toronto. One March morning I noticed huge chucks of ice had washed along the banks of the river and surrounded a bench.

This sight was symbolic to me, I climbed the ice and sat on the bench with my dog and just looked out on the vista. I thought to myself that nature was speaking to me. I remembered my desire to be an artist, a painter, from before I went to university. So, I decided that I’d return on that path even though the road would be bumpy and difficult.

I included a Canadian flag in this picture, because really, this is what it is like to be Canadian- to see an obstacle and to find your way to a goal, and then to soak in the beauty of how nature still rules the world around us.

Art is magic, it changes things, it moves people to see something new within themselves.

Have you ever walked into a storm?

art, artists block, Boheminans, Canadian, Canvas, childhood, choices, drawing, fear, magic, Oil, painting, Uncategorized

19989297_10155468560736119_2770883723811743172_n

This is one of my newest works. I have let loose the artistic beast so to speak, and have moved away from the controlled brush stoke. The control is for those other artists that love to make things look like they are real.

My job, as I see it is to expose the soul of the painting, to bring you into the storm with me and to dare to allow the mystery to be just that, a mystery. I have taken a small painting that was more controlled and then re did it (Tom Thomson style) on a larger canvas.

Jose Trujillo

Lately I’ve been following this guy on you tube and I must say, I love what he has to talk about. He verbalizes a lot of what I already am feeling. It’s good to hear that someone else is feeling it, that I’m not alone in the desert of my thoughts.  It’s tough to be an artist- you have this little voice in your head that says, “don’t do it” “it looks stupid” “no one will ever buy your stuff”. All I can say is WRONG or paraphrasing the fish guy in Star Wars: “It’s a Trap.” Cause it is a trap. People do buy my stuff. But I must do my work for the love of creation, and that is all. As long as I can create I will do it. Who knows where this journey will take me? It’s hard to tell.

When I was in grade 2 I decided I wanted to be an artist. I was a new kid in a new school, and my cousin Peter showed me how to draw the road runner. When it was art time, I drew a road runner, and all the kids wanted me to draw the road runner for them. This started the storm.

Storms are not bad, storms test us, they measure our courage, they can even kill us. Ok, sometimes storms are bad, but regardless, we can’t be afraid to go there, or we will live a life wasted.

 

Dyslexics assemble.

art, choices, friendship, health, lamp, studio

My knee is really hurting today, but I got a new lamp Which is cool. Dyslexic people like me have a hard time figuring out things like lamps and assembly of furniture. What seems easy for normal folks is a giant puzzle of visualization for people like me. I had to figure out how gravity was working on this sucker before I got to the point that I had to put it on the bottom of my easel in order to maximize it’s flexibility. But it’s done now and now I’m going to focus on getting this painting finished.

Another friend of mine is in the hospital, I’m going to call her Owl, not her real name of course, but I don’t want to “out” anyone here. So anyways, Owl had cancer before and it may be back, which really sucks. it’s been a rough year people dropping like flies, shit happening. I wonder if it’s because I am older, or because it’s been a bad year? I spent a good part of yesterday at her side, as she went to get her MRI, she hated it, who wouldn’t, lying on your back or worse on your belly, still as a stone, for 40 min while great big banging noises are going on around you….yah fun times. I wish I had more time to see her more. Though I hope she will be out of the hospital soon. I want Owl to be well, I want her to be happy with her man, I want her to have kids if she wants too, why does the universe have to be so cruel sometimes? I guess this is our classroom here on the earth, and it’s a tough course, but if we do our best we live a good life, and that’s it.
I haven’t been doing my yoga, I promise this afternoon is the time to do it.

Was grumpy this morning with Percy in the car. No coffee and I’m not at my best, he was grumpy too so we grumped together in silence. The nice thing about our relationship is this is ok, sometimes that happens, but when it’s a big issue we can feel free to speak our mind without the other person holding us ransom. Sometimes I think relationships are like the wild wild west. We’ve been together for 11 years now which is great. Jupiter has come and gone and we’re still going strong.

Just for the record I read tarot and do astrology. So I may drop some references to astrology into this blog.

L

New Lamp for art

New Lamp for art

Crossroads

art, choices, drawing, ghosts, santeria

Scan 5

The crossroads is a funny place. A magical place, a place of choices. We always have to choose, even no choice is a conscience choice.

I drew Elegba at the crossroads. In Santeria, Elegba guards the crossroads of life, he kind of helps you out, or not. He could trick you, and even confuse you more.

I am working out what this means.

The door behind Elegba is the door which leads us to a new place, but Elegba is the keeper of the key.

I once had a vivid dream about a far off door in a dark room, I was flying towards it, in my dream but each time I’d hit it, I’d bounce back into darkness. Behind the door, was light.

This was around the time that I could sense things: That good or bad was coming and I would dream about ghosts. I thought I was crazy, but I have found out that all mediums walk the fine line of crazy and not,because we can hold our breath and dive into that strange world that is not our own.

L